"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead."
-Philippians 3:13
As this year is coming to a close, I thought I would talk a bit about looking back. I have mentioned a couple times on this blog that it is important to reflect on the things that we do and how they are helping achieve our purpose. Instead of repeating myself over again, I am going to share my reflection of 2012 which I wrote during a retreat a couple days ago (tweaked a bit). Hopefully this will be encouraging and will show you how to view past events.
The year of 2012 was very similar to other years of my life. There were some successes and many failures and disappointments. This year, as every other year, is a reminder that I am nothing without the grace of God through Jesus Christ. Every day I have fallen short of God's standards, but every day I was covered in His grace. I tried very hard to fight against sin, but I have lost that battle many times. The past year was a painful reminder that I'm nothing but a sinner that is saved by the blood of Jesus.
As 2011 was coming to a close, I decided that I wanted 2012 to be a time of growth. I wanted to read the bible and pray consistently. One of my new year resolutions was to read the old testament in 2012, but I didn't come even close to reaching that goal. Despite having good intentions and a desire to read the Bible, my love of distractions and my lack of discipline held me back.
I wanted a renewed purpose in 2012, so I chose a key verse that was very purpose oriented. I read Philippians 3, and I chose verse 10 to be my 2012 key verse. Philippians 3:10 reads "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death." This verse made it clear that my purpose is to know Christ by experiencing Him. I have to experience His suffering and death. His suffering and His death were both because of sin, so I also had to suffer and die to sin. I was still trapped in my sin, and I could not deny myself and die to my sins. I could not experience the resurrection power of Christ because of that.
My key verse was not completely useless though. I really thought about the purpose of my life and what I am doing to reach it. I tried to analyze myself without any bias, and I found out that I was trying to achieve happiness. It seemed that everything I did was to make myself happier. Later in the year I began to read "Desiring God" by John Piper, which gave me hope. He says that everyone is trying to be happy, but we all try to be happy in different ways. No one can find true happiness in themselves or in anything of this world, but only in God. I realized that I was seeking pleasure in the things of this world rather than in God. I knew that I had to experience God to find true happiness.
In 2012 I had a lot to thank God for. I graduated from high school with good grades, and I was accepted into the University of Maryland. I also finished my first semester of college without many problems. I had good health, I made new friends, and I learned a lot. Most of all, I am thankful for's God amazing grace for us.
-Smart
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