High Expectations

"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
-Matthew 5:48
WARNING: THIS POST IS VERY HONEST.
     I wasn't going to write about this, but I figured it'd be a good thing to do. On Sunday my church plays soccer together, and I join almost every time they play. Yesterday the weather was super nice, so I was really excited to play soccer. I haven't been able to wear shorts and a t-shirt in a really long time, so I was really looking forward to soccer.
     So what happened? Well, if you've ever played soccer with me, you might know that I like to yell. I don't know what it is, but I just really like to yell while playing soccer. Perhaps it passes the time when I don't have to ball. In any case, yesterday was just a normal day of soccer. However, I think I took my yelling a bit too far. I started saying quite mean things to the people on my team. The people on the other team started to tell me to chill out, which somehow made me more angry. While it seems that I just yell at people unreasonably, I normally am trying to make the team better (believe it or not).
     At a point in the second half, I had enough. I decided to walk out of the game. I know, that makes me sound like a loser, quitter, uncommitted, etc. The truth is, I probably am all of those things. So you may ask yourself, "why did you quit a pick up game of soccer?" The answer is that I don't treat it like a pick up game. People always tell me, "hey man, just play to have fun." The problem is, the only way I have fun while playing soccer is by playing my best. When I don't see my teammates reciprocating my effort and hustle, it bothers me. I demand a lot of myself when I play, so I expect a lot from my teammates as well.
     You have to understand that the people who play soccer have various skill levels. Some are quite good, while others, well, the less said the better. The people who are less skilled normally say to me, "we're just not good enough to play better!" Now, I don't think of myself as unreasonable. Maybe I come off that way, but I never expect more than I know people can handle. When I yell at my teammates, it's because I know they can do more. I'm not criticizing their level of skill; no one can change that during the course of a game. I'm trying to help them play better, and trying to make them play with more hustle and energy. I tell them where to pass, where to dribble, and generally what they could do that would benefit the team. While it sounds nice when you read it here, I will admit that I seem very demanding and unreasonable while I am playing.
       Interestingly, I recently saw a movie titled "Whiplash". The premise is that there a young man trying to become a great drummer. When he enters the best music school, he finds that the teacher is really demanding of his musicians. The teacher is really over the top, even throwing chairs at the drummer because he was off tempo. When I thought about the movie, I wondered why anyone would ever stay in that band. I realized that the only reason someone would put up with the teacher is that they wanted to get better, no matter the cost. Even though the teacher was cruel, he would make them better musicians.
     I kind of felt like that teacher yesterday. I yelled at my teammates, demanding their very best. However, my teammates are not like the drummer in the movie. They just want to have fun, and enjoy the weather while playing soccer. They're not trying to become elite soccer players. They probably don't appreciate being yelled at, especially in a pick up game. Unfortunately, it's really hard for me to turn off my competitiveness, so I continued to have high expectations for my team. When they couldn't meet my expectations, I left them.
     I realized that soccer stopped being fun for me. I demand so much from myself, and from others. There are very few things more frustrating in life than to have your expectations let down, especially when you put so much effort into something. I decided that I should take a sabbatical from soccer (I know, sounds kind of weird). If I continue to play like I am now, I will only end up not having fun and taking away from other's enjoyment of soccer. I'll probably take a couple weeks off to clear my mind and have some rest.
     One thing I thought about after playing soccer is how much God expects from us. God is holy, righteous, and perfect. As His disciples, we should strive to be like Him. He wants us to be holy, righteous and perfect. However, we can never meet those expectations. Unlike myself, God doesn't demand that we be like Him, but He does expect us to become more like Him. What if God was like me, and just walked out on me when I inevitably fail His expectations? I would lose any opportunity to gain eternal life. However, I thank God that He is not like me. He continually teaches me and lovingly guides me in the path of righteousness. I pray that I can somehow be more like God, and that He would lead me all the way.
-Smart