Grace Retreat 2016 - Come Alive

"made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."
-Ephesians 2:5
     Last week I went to Grace Retreat along with the youth group of my church. The Grace Retreat is a gathering of youth groups around the DMV area focused on bringing revival to the youth. If you regularly follow my blog, you may remember me writing about my experience in 2014. The theme of the Grace Retreat this year was "Come Alive". I was really blessed through this retreat, and I wanted to share my testimony with you. Here's some fair warning: the testimony seems disjointed at first, but it connects later. Just hang in there.
     In 2014 I attended Grace Retreat as a small group leader. As I mention in the blog post in that year, I felt like a really inadequate leader. Even after that retreat, I felt that I didn't make any impact on my small group. Those thoughts of inadequacy were still lingering on my mind even two years later. I struggled to believe in myself as a leader because of the experience I had in 2014. However, I chose to trust God even with my weaknesses.
     One thing you may not know about me if you don't know me too well is that I'm not a very expressive person during worship. My church is pretty conservative when it comes to expressiveness during praise, so that kind of rubbed off on me. However, I decided that at this retreat I would worship God fully. I chose to give Him glory, even despite my lack of faith. In the past, I would almost never raise my hands in worship, but at this retreat, I rose my hands frequently. I'm not suggesting that raising your hands in worship makes you more spiritual or that you cannot worship without raising your hands, but I find that it helps me connect with God. Raising my hands is a way for me to connect a physical act with the spiritual act of worship.
     In my first small group meeting, I asked my group why they came to the Grace Retreat. I shared my reason which was that I just graduated college and I wanted to encounter God before I start my new job. Most of the students shared simple answers, such as they wanted to encounter God. This discouraged me a little bit, because it reminded me of the experience I had in 2014. However, one student shared that he was struggling with some things in his life, and he wanted God to breakthrough in his life. He didn't share what he was struggling with, but I was encouraged that he chose to share with the group.
     Later in the retreat, one of the speakers, Bob, was sharing prophetic words during the main worship session. He called out for a Chris, which happened to be one of my small group members. He stood up, but then he noticed that another Chris was standing up. As it turns out, the other Chris was one of the speakers at the Grace Retreat. The Chris in my small group awkwardly sat back down, because he didn't think that the prophecy was for him. The speaker said that Chris would reach out to a person named Steve and would impact him.
     The next message was given by a speaker named Lana. She spoke about identity and destiny (which I will expand on in another post). After hearing her message, I just felt so much hope. I had hope for the youth and I felt God would use them mightily. I'm not a youth leader, so I've never really given too much thought to the youth. However, I had so much hope for the youth at the retreat, and in my small group. I felt that Bob's prophetic word was for the Chris in my group. I believed that God would use Chris in a way Chris never experienced before.
     At the small group after Lana's message, I asked Chris if he knew someone named Steve. He told me that he did, and that Steve was not a believer. I told Chris that God would use him to reach out to Steve, reiterating Bob's prophetic word. I then asked my small group to pray over Chris to release the prophecy in his life. We also prayed for the other member who shared that he struggling with things in his life. I was blessed even just by watching my group pray over each other. All of those doubts I had in myself as a small group leader were fading away.
     Throughout the retreat, I wouldn't say I felt God's presence heavily during worship or ministry time. This was a bit discouraging, because I was hoping to encounter God in a big way at the retreat. However, I was reminded of how God has been teaching me about seeds and fruit. Faith is something that grows over time, and I shouldn't try to rush to see results. I need to trust in God's leading in my life. To be honest, it's hard for me to trust in God's timing, but I believe God has something big in store for my life.
     At the final evening worship at the Grace Retreat, the speaker, Chris, led a time of ministry. Basically what that means is that students can come up to the front and have leaders pray over them. Even though I'm not a student, I went up to the front for prayer. In my mind, I was thinking about whether I should pray for the students, since I am a leader. I decided that if someone prays over me, I will take it as a sign to pray for the youth. Sure enough, a leader prayed over me. I was hesitant, but I finally decided to pray for my small group. I went to one of the members that I saw first. I laid my hand on his shoulder, and was praying for him to experience the Holy Spirit. After only a short time, I felt a weight on my hand. I didn't really know what it was at first, but then I realized that my small group member was falling down (this is one way of encountering the Spirit). I guess he was a pretty light guy, because I didn't realize he was actually falling at first. I made sure he went down safely.
     I was amazed at what just happened. I never had someone be slain by the Spirit while I prayed over them. I believe this was God's subtle way of telling me that I don't have to feel Him to be used by Him. In fact, if I were busy just receiving the Holy Spirit, I could have missed the opportunity to pray over my small group.
     Chris' message was about bringing our experience with God into our everyday lives. It's not enough for us to rely on retreats or conferences to meet God. We should be meeting God everyday. The final message, given by Pastor Carlos, was about reading the Bible. This is the most practical way for us to encounter God in our everyday lives. I hope that I can be faithful to God's word, and experience Him more and more everyday.
-Smart