"You are the salt of the earth."
-Matthew 5:13a
Not too long ago I wrote about salt, and how salt is meant to be used collectively, not individually. This made me think more about the nature of salt, and then something funny happened. A huge snowstorm hit where I live, and guess what happens during a snowstorm? You buy salt. As I've stated before, salt is used to preserve and to flavor food, but it is also used to melt ice. I reflected briefly on the fact that salt is used in this manner, and I wondered if this applies at all to our lives as Christians. As you probably guessed by the fact that I am writing this, I believe that it does.
In the Bible, there is this idea of a "hardened heart". An example is in the book of Exodus, when Moses is instructed to speak to Pharaoh. God tells Moses to tell Pharaoh to let His people go, but adds something interesting. God tells Moses "I will harden Pharaoh's heart..." and "he will not listen to you". Isn't it weird that God instructs Moses to approach Pharaoh about the deliverance of the Israelites even though He knows Pharaoh will harden his heart?
I would be lying if I told you that I know why God instructs Moses to speak to Pharaoh even though Pharaoh would not listen. However, if we look forward in the book of Exodus, Moses obeys God. As promised, Pharaoh does not listen to Moses, and in response, God sends a plague on Egypt. In fact, God sends many plagues on Egypt because Pharaoh continually hardens his heart towards the Israelite people. If I were Moses, I can tell you that I would have a very hard time obeying God's commands to repeatedly approach Pharaoh. Why should I waste my effort trying to convince Pharaoh to do something that he clearly is not willing to do?
If you are familiar with the book of Exodus (or perhaps the word "exodus"), you know that eventually Pharaoh softened his heart and let the Israelites go. What caused Pharaoh to finally listen to Moses? It was the fact that Moses was persistent and obedient. Despite not seeing any results over and over again, he still approached Pharaoh again and again. Moses never gave up trying to reach Pharaoh, and eventually Pharaoh softened his heart.
So what does this have to do with salt? As I stated at the beginning, salt melts ice. How? Scientifically speaking, it combines with water and ice which lowers the melting point of the ice, and helps it melt at lower temperatures. This also prevents the water from refreezing during the night. That might be interesting if you didn't know that, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. How does salt melt ice? Slowly, yet surely. When we put salt on ice, it doesn't melt right away. Salt isn't some magical compound that is able to immediately melt ice. It has to work itself into the ice, and then it melts the ice slowly. However, eventually the ice does melt.
Even though it may have seemed that Moses was not accomplishing nothing in terms of melting Pharaoh's heart, I believe that Moses was indeed impacting Pharaoh during each plague. While Moses didn't see results, that did not mean nothing was happening. Do you know the most interesting part of how salt is used to melt ice? It is that the salt is not what causes the ice to melt. I didn't explain the science behind how salt works for no reason. Salt does impact how ice melts, but ultimately the sun is responsible for melting the ice. Without the sun, the ice will never melt.
Jesus is calling us to be the salt of the earth. We are expected to impact how the world responds to Christ. It's easy to think that all of our effort is wasted, but maybe we're forgetting that salt doesn't melt ice immediately. Also, we cannot really do anything to change someone's heart. Ultimately it is the Son that melts hardened hearts. We are just called to prepare the hearts of those who have yet to believe. Salt does not melt; it is used to melt. We do not change people's hearts; God uses us to change people's hearts. I want to challenge myself (and you) with this question- am I impacting people's hearts?
-Smart
Do I have Compassion?
"When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd."
Mark 6:34
Recently a friend of mine and I were having a nice chat about various things. We came across the topic of our college group (which we both are a part of leading), and talked about how we wanted to lead the upcoming semester. As we were talking, a question was proposed to me that took me off guard- "do you really care about people"? I got a bit defensive and was about to say "of course", but then I really thought about it. Do I really care about people?
One of the amazing things about Jesus when He walked this earth is that He had compassion on people. It's so easy to take that simple fact for granted. If we stop to think about it though, Jesus caring about people is crazy. Why should the Lord of lords and King of kings even bother to have compassion on the sick, hungry, and poor? Why should Jesus have compassion on you and me? He saw how broken and lost we were, and He came to our rescue by way of the cross.
When we look at Jesus, and specifically the cross, having compassion on others should be easy. If the Son of God could have compassion on me, I should have no trouble showing compassion to others. I thought about why it's so hard to really care about others. I think one reason is that I am so focused on myself. I want my life to be comfortable, and reaching out to others puts my comfort at risk.
Mark 6 describes when Jesus fed the five thousand. His disciples wanted Him to send the crowd away, since there were so many people. Jesus had compassion on the crowd, and told the disciples to feed them. The disciples didn't want to deal with the crowd, because it meant that they would have to find money to buy them food. Also, they would have to distribute food, which would take a lot of effort. They didn't even think it was possible to feed so many people, which in reality, was true. However, Jesus challenges them to share in His compassion. Notice that Jesus tells the disciples to distribute the food. Jesus could have just made food appear in everyone's lap, but He invites the disciples to share in His compassionate work.
Jesus is also calling each of us to have compassion on the world. Sometimes it seems uncomfortable, or even impossible, like feeding five thousand people. However, if we just dismiss others, we not only prevent them from hearing the gospel- we miss a chance to grow our character to be more like Jesus. We are called to love others not just for their sake, but for ours.
The obvious question is how we can grow in our compassion. I don't have all the answers, but I have two thoughts. The first thing we can do is to fix our eyes on Jesus. If we remember His compassion on us, it will be easier to have compassion on others. Second, we can start small. The disciples didn't suddenly have the ability to feed five thousand people. They started with five loaves and two fish. They started small, and Jesus worked through them to multiply their offering. I'll be the first to confess that it is very difficult for me to truly have compassion on others. However, Jesus calls each of us to share in His compassion. I want to grow in my compassion, and I hope you are inspired to grow in compassion as well.
-Smart
(P.S. This post was pretty different from what I first planned, but I think it covers what I wanted to share. I hope you enjoyed it and were inspired.)
Mark 6:34
Recently a friend of mine and I were having a nice chat about various things. We came across the topic of our college group (which we both are a part of leading), and talked about how we wanted to lead the upcoming semester. As we were talking, a question was proposed to me that took me off guard- "do you really care about people"? I got a bit defensive and was about to say "of course", but then I really thought about it. Do I really care about people?
One of the amazing things about Jesus when He walked this earth is that He had compassion on people. It's so easy to take that simple fact for granted. If we stop to think about it though, Jesus caring about people is crazy. Why should the Lord of lords and King of kings even bother to have compassion on the sick, hungry, and poor? Why should Jesus have compassion on you and me? He saw how broken and lost we were, and He came to our rescue by way of the cross.
When we look at Jesus, and specifically the cross, having compassion on others should be easy. If the Son of God could have compassion on me, I should have no trouble showing compassion to others. I thought about why it's so hard to really care about others. I think one reason is that I am so focused on myself. I want my life to be comfortable, and reaching out to others puts my comfort at risk.
Mark 6 describes when Jesus fed the five thousand. His disciples wanted Him to send the crowd away, since there were so many people. Jesus had compassion on the crowd, and told the disciples to feed them. The disciples didn't want to deal with the crowd, because it meant that they would have to find money to buy them food. Also, they would have to distribute food, which would take a lot of effort. They didn't even think it was possible to feed so many people, which in reality, was true. However, Jesus challenges them to share in His compassion. Notice that Jesus tells the disciples to distribute the food. Jesus could have just made food appear in everyone's lap, but He invites the disciples to share in His compassionate work.
Jesus is also calling each of us to have compassion on the world. Sometimes it seems uncomfortable, or even impossible, like feeding five thousand people. However, if we just dismiss others, we not only prevent them from hearing the gospel- we miss a chance to grow our character to be more like Jesus. We are called to love others not just for their sake, but for ours.
The obvious question is how we can grow in our compassion. I don't have all the answers, but I have two thoughts. The first thing we can do is to fix our eyes on Jesus. If we remember His compassion on us, it will be easier to have compassion on others. Second, we can start small. The disciples didn't suddenly have the ability to feed five thousand people. They started with five loaves and two fish. They started small, and Jesus worked through them to multiply their offering. I'll be the first to confess that it is very difficult for me to truly have compassion on others. However, Jesus calls each of us to share in His compassion. I want to grow in my compassion, and I hope you are inspired to grow in compassion as well.
-Smart
(P.S. This post was pretty different from what I first planned, but I think it covers what I wanted to share. I hope you enjoyed it and were inspired.)
Quick Thought About Salt
"You are the salt of the earth."
-Matthew 5:13a
This is going to be a super random post, but this is something that popped into my head a while ago and I wanted to share it. If you know me well, I enjoy salty foods. I've always had an affinity for salty foods, and would always choose a salty food over a sugary one. For example, I would much rather have chips than ice cream. This might sound ridiculous to some of you, but God made us all different. Anyway, this is not the point I want to make today.
If you attend a church regularly, it is probable that you have heard a message on Matthew 5. Jesus tells His disciples and the crowd that they are the "salt of the earth". Many times, when I have heard a message of this passage, the salt's attributes are analyzed. For example, it is often said that salt changes the flavor of the food, preserves the food, and is potent (affecting things around it powerfully). These are all true, but one thing that I think is often overlooked is that salt is used in bunches.
When I was thinking about this idea of salt, I was eating chicken noodle soup. It was a bit bland, so I placed some salt into my soup. When I looked at the salt shaker, I thought about the fact that we never use a single grain of salt to flavor and preserve our food. When we hear the word "salt", we don't often think of a single grain of salt. We think of a lot of salt. I realized that this is how we are supposed to be as the salt of the earth. We aren't meant to be a single grain of salt, but to be a community of salt, working together. A single grain of salt does make a difference, but salt in bunches is how salt is meant to be used.
I believe that it is significant that Jesus was talking to His disciples, plural, and not to a single person. God calls us to salvation as individuals, but He calls us to preach as a church. Let us not isolate ourselves from the church, but work together in order to change and preserve the world. Jesus hasn't called us to be a grain of salt, but a group of salt. It's easy for me as an American to individualize my Christian walk with God, but He's called me to work with others. Let's become the salt of the earth, together.
-Smart
-Matthew 5:13a
This is going to be a super random post, but this is something that popped into my head a while ago and I wanted to share it. If you know me well, I enjoy salty foods. I've always had an affinity for salty foods, and would always choose a salty food over a sugary one. For example, I would much rather have chips than ice cream. This might sound ridiculous to some of you, but God made us all different. Anyway, this is not the point I want to make today.
If you attend a church regularly, it is probable that you have heard a message on Matthew 5. Jesus tells His disciples and the crowd that they are the "salt of the earth". Many times, when I have heard a message of this passage, the salt's attributes are analyzed. For example, it is often said that salt changes the flavor of the food, preserves the food, and is potent (affecting things around it powerfully). These are all true, but one thing that I think is often overlooked is that salt is used in bunches.
When I was thinking about this idea of salt, I was eating chicken noodle soup. It was a bit bland, so I placed some salt into my soup. When I looked at the salt shaker, I thought about the fact that we never use a single grain of salt to flavor and preserve our food. When we hear the word "salt", we don't often think of a single grain of salt. We think of a lot of salt. I realized that this is how we are supposed to be as the salt of the earth. We aren't meant to be a single grain of salt, but to be a community of salt, working together. A single grain of salt does make a difference, but salt in bunches is how salt is meant to be used.
I believe that it is significant that Jesus was talking to His disciples, plural, and not to a single person. God calls us to salvation as individuals, but He calls us to preach as a church. Let us not isolate ourselves from the church, but work together in order to change and preserve the world. Jesus hasn't called us to be a grain of salt, but a group of salt. It's easy for me as an American to individualize my Christian walk with God, but He's called me to work with others. Let's become the salt of the earth, together.
-Smart
God Doesn't Make Sense? (Genesis 25 Message)
This is a message that I gave to my church's youth group a couple weeks back. It's not the best written message, but I think that there are good points that we can all learn from. I hope you are blessed by reading this.
The passage that was assigned to me was all of Genesis 25, but today we are just going to look at verses 19-34. To quickly summarize what happens earlier in the chapter, Abraham dies, and is buried with his wife Sarah. Ishmael’s descendants are listed, and Genesis mentions that they lived in hostility towards the tribes related to them. Here we see that God’s words to Hagar in chapter 16 are coming true. Ishmael’s family is starting to live in hostility towards those around them. In any case, this is not the focus of the message. Instead, we are going to talk about the birth of Isaac’s sons, Jacob and Esau. I have three points that I want to talk about in regards to the passage: God doesn’t always make sense, God is always in control, and God is good, all the time.
The first point is that God doesn’t always make sense. Why am I talking about this? If we read the passage, we see that Isaac has a similar dilemma to his father Abraham. Let’s read verse 21. “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant”. If you recall to earlier in Genesis, Abraham and Sarah didn’t have a child for a very long time. Back in their times, not having a child was a pretty big deal. Abraham and Sarah took matters into their own hands, and Abraham had a son with his slave Hagar. This son is Ishmael, who lived in hostility with his brothers. Now, Isaac and Rebekah are having the same issue of childlessness. However, we see that Isaac and Rebekah don’t take things into their own hands. They pray to the Lord for a child, without trying anything by their own efforts. You would think that since they were faithful to prayer, God would quickly and directly answer their prayer for a child. However, some interesting things happen. Firstly, it takes twenty years for Rebekah to give birth a child. Secondly, they don’t just have one child, they have twins. When Rebekah is pregnant, verse 22 tells us that “the babies jostled each other within her, and she said, ‘why is this happening to me?’”. God answers this in verse 23. Let’s read that together. “The Lord said to her, ‘two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger’”. Now, I know that we are all accustomed to the story of Jacob and Esau, so we kind of forget how weird their story really is.
Here in America we have a culture in which age is not a huge deal. The only time age really matters is in terms of the law, such as driving or drinking. However, age is not super important in our social interactions with others. In other countries, such as Korea (although I hear it’s not so much these days), age is very important. Perhaps you guys know the terms “hyeong” and “dongsaeng”. If you don’t know, “hyeong” means “older brother”, and “dongsaeng” means “younger brother”. Actually I remember a time when I was playing flag football with some FKPC guys, and they would call Lam “Lam Hyeong”, which sounded a lot like “lamyeong” (ramen). I was so confused as to why people kept shouting “lamyeong” until I realized they were simply calling Lam with the respectful title “hyeong”. Anyways, the point is that in Korea and some other countries, age is very important. Younger people should respect older people, especially when it comes to family. The same principle was true in Isaac and Rebekah’s time. When God tells Rebekah that the older will serve the younger, this probably made no sense to Rebekah. The idea of the older son serving the younger son is ridiculous. Why didn’t God just give Isaac and Rebekah a single son? Why all this drama of having two children? Why not just have the older son be the inheritor of God’s promise to Abraham? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do know that Rebekah sought to know God’s will. Even when things in her life didn’t quite make sense, she inquired of God. Even when God’s answer didn’t make sense to her, there is evidence later in her life that she still wanted to do God’s will. Deuteronomy 4:29 says “if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul”. So when God doesn’t make sense, we should still seek after Him and His will.
With Christmas being just two days ago, I’ve been thinking a lot about the birth of Jesus. An immediate question I had is “why did Jesus come as a baby”? This question actually has a lot of theological implications, so I won’t try to answer it. Do you know who was probably the most confused about this? I think the Jewish people probably were the most confused about the humanity of Jesus. When they thought about their coming Messiah that was promised to them, I can guarantee you that they were not thinking about a baby. What is a baby going to do for you? A baby can’t even take care of itself! The Jewish leaders and teachers of the law were not ready to accept Jesus as a baby, which is why I believe the angel appeared to the shepherds. For one thing, no one was awake except for the shepherds. Isn’t it strange that the Son of God was born, and no one was even awake except for some shepherds? The teachers of the law and the Pharisees were so caught up in the idea of the Messiah being a powerful king that they couldn’t even accept that Jesus would come as a baby. Literally anyone could have come and approached Jesus when He was a baby, but the idea of the Messiah as a baby made no sense to them. They failed to seek God, and as a result, they missed out on who Jesus was. God doesn’t always make sense to us, but we should seek Him and His will.
So we’ve covered that God doesn’t always make sense, so let’s move to point two: God is always in control. Thinking again about Jesus’ birth, Luke 2 tells us that Caesar Augustus was the leader of Rome at the time. He issued a decree for a census, which required each person to return to their hometown to register. This meant that Joseph and Mary had to travel to Bethlehem. This journey probably sucked, since Mary was pretty far along in her pregnancy. When I was studying this passage with my fellowship, Fredrick said something very interesting. It seems like Caesar Augustus in the one in control. He gets everyone to do whatever he wants, even if it means traveling far in order to register for a census. There were no exceptions to his rule, not even a pregnant woman. The funny thing is that this was probably the kind of king that the Jewish people wanted. They wanted a strong king who would take over the Roman Empire through displays of power and authority. In other words, they wanted a king who would take complete control over the world. What they didn’t realize is that they had a God who was in control. When Caesar Augustus forces Mary and Joseph to travel to Bethlehem, he is actually fulfilling God’s plan. Matthew 6 tells us that the Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem is the fulfillment of God’s prophecy in Micah. It seemed like Caesar Augustus was in control, but in fact, God was always the one orchestrating everything in accordance to His will. God is always in control.
So what does this have to do with our passage? When Jacob and Esau are born, Jacob comes out grasping Esau’s heel. The name Jacob was given to him because Jacob means “he grasps the heel”, which is an expression for “he deceives”. We learn that Esau likes to go out and hunt, where Jacob likes to stay home. One day, Jacob is at home, as always, cooking some stew. Esau comes home and asks, or more like commands, Jacob to give him some stew. Jacob, being a deceiver, realizes that this is his chance to take something from Esau. Jacob tells Esau to give him the birthright in exchange for some stew. Immediately we can ask, “what is a birthright”? A birthright is a right of possession or privilege that someone is given from birth, especially as an eldest child. This could be in the form of a greater portion of the father’s inheritance and a higher position in the family line. Now, what do you think is more valuable, some stew or a birthright? Clearly the birthright is of much greater value than some stew, but Esau is so hungry he still makes the trade with Jacob. Jacob ends up with the birthright, thanks to his deceptive manipulation of his brother.
In this part of the story, it seems like Jacob is in control. He finds a weakness in Esau and exploits it in order to take the birthright. Jacob is possibly even pleased with himself that he was able to take the birthright from his brother Esau, because it meant that Jacob now would get a greater inheritance and is now higher in position than Esau is in the family line. However, what Jacob probably doesn’t know is that he was fulfilling God’s plan. Remember that God told Rebekah that the younger son would rule over the older. In only a couple verses, we see that God is already fulfilling what He told to Rebekah. Jacob is now the owner of the birthright, and is in a higher position than Esau. Jacob probably thought that he was in control, but in fact, God was in control the whole time. God can use anything in order to fulfill his sovereign plan. Proverbs 16:9 says “in their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps”. God used Jacob’s deception of Esau in order to put Jacob in position to receive the promise of Abraham. What Jacob lacked is trust in God, because he put too much trust in himself. The time in Jacob’s life where he finally found peace is when he wrestled with God. I don’t want to spend too much time on this, since you will have another message on it, but let’s think about why God wrestles with Jacob. What is the point of wrestling? By the way, welcome back Caleb. What is the point of wrestling? It’s to gain control of the other person. Think about it. You’re fighting and grappling to be the person in control. God approaches Jacob in a wrestling match because He wants Jacob to understand who he is. Jacob always tried to take control of his life, usually by deceiving people to get what he wanted. God wrestles Jacob because He wants Jacob to stop trying to control his own life. God touches Jacob’s hip and dislocates his hip, basically showing Jacob that God is the one really in control. God wants Jacob to surrender to His will, and stop trying to control his own life. We can always try to control our life, but God will always be in control. Why not just let go and let Him have control of our lives?
How many of you have been to Grace Retreat? In Grace Retreat, I noticed that the people are much more expressive in worship than our church is. It’s funny because there a lot of different kinds of ways people express worship. The most common way that I see is people raising their hands during praise. In fact, I have a chart here that outlines some of the different hand raises. The most common one is the “touchdown” pose, where both hands are raised as if a referee were signaling a touchdown. I am ninety-nine percent sure that I know where this came from. Where else do people do this pose, outside of sports? It’s when someone points a gun at someone else. The reason people place their hands up is to signal that they surrender to the gunman. In a bad case, this could mean someone surrendering their money to a criminal. In a good case, this could mean a criminal surrendering to the police. In either case, a hand raised motion is a signal of surrender. I believe this is why the worship pose is so similar, because it is a way of telling God that we surrender to Him. Jacob finally gave up control to God when he surrendered to God’s will. God doesn’t always make sense, so we seek His will; God is always in control, so we surrender to His will.
Lastly, let’s talk about the last point, God is good, all the time. As you probably guessed, I stole this expression from our church. We like to say “God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good”. Why? Well, because it’s true, even when we don’t know it. When I was younger, Matthew and I would sometimes do really stupid things. For example, we would go downstairs and play with footballs, soccer balls, or anything that you probably shouldn’t play with inside. Whenever we did something really bad, like knock something over or scratch the wall, my dad would get very upset. Often, he would “discipline” us. At the time, I hated it, and I’m sure Matthew did too. However, what we didn’t realize is that my dad was doing this for our good. I can say this because I knew that my dad loves me. One time, my mom had set a ladder outside in the backyard, and sternly told me not to play with it. Of course, no child could resist an invitation like that, so I went out and I climbed the ladder. I fell, and bashed my head against the ladder. What do you think my mom and dad did? Did they spank me right then and there? No! They rushed outside and came to my aid. They placed ice on my head, because at this point I had a bump the size of a baseball. My parents made sure that I was okay, and then they spanked me. All joking aside, they tried to do everything for my good.
In the same way, God does everything for our good. Matthew 7:9-11 reads “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” In other words, if we know that our parents are working for our good, how much more is God working for our good? Hebrews 12:5-6 says “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.” Even when things don’t seem to be good, God is good.
Perhaps it is off-putting to think that God is completely sovereign over everything. Even when we see the good intentions of people who love us, we see their failures. People will always betray you, so it’s hard to surrender to God because we remember how people fail us. This is why I wanted to stress that God is good, all the time. In Jacob and Esau’s case, it seems like God is cruel to allow Jacob to take the birthright. We know that God doesn’t always make sense, but why would He allow Jacob to take the birthright through deception? We know that God is always in control, so why would He choose a deceiver to be the receiver of His promise? I honestly don’t know, but I can say with confidence that God was working everything for good. Jacob goes through many trials in his life, as you will learn later, which test his character. He constantly struggled with others, and we see him deceiving others continually. However, God used the trials in his life, and even his deceptive and controlling nature to build his character to become the father of the nation of Israel. Jacob became a great man of God, and the inheritor of the promise God gave to Abraham, becoming a blessing to people all over the earth.
The sad part of the story is that Esau didn’t see the fullness of God’s goodness. When he comes home to Jacob and asks for stew, Esau gives up the birthright much too quickly. Esau should have valued the birthright higher than anything else, especially some stew. He gives up the birthright to Jacob, and thus loses the promise of God to Abraham. Not only that, verse 34 tells us that Esau despised the birthright. Perhaps this means that Esau didn’t truly understand the value of the birthright. Maybe Esau didn’t even want the birthright. Whatever the case, Jacob did see the value of the birthright, and he took it, albeit through deceptive means. Now I’m not sure what Jacob really wanted from the birthright, whether it was the inheritance or the position of authority. Whatever it was, he treasured it, even deceiving his own brother for it. This brings me to my last point, God is good all the time, so we should treasure His will.
1 John 3:1 reads “see what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him”. The most important thing I want you to remember is that God is good, and He is working for your good. We are the children of God, do you know what that means? It means that we too have a birthright, as children of our heavenly Father. 1 Peter 3-4 says “In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.” We have a spiritual inheritance waiting for us, which we should treasure. We also have the position as children of God. The will of God is that we receive these things, so we should treasure His will. We should hold onto these things which God has given to us, and not give it up like Esau did.
Of course, this all sounds nice, but in reality these things are hard to accept. It is hard to accept that God doesn’t always make sense to us. We don’t like when things happen to us that we can’t understand. It’s difficult to accept that God is always in control, because we want to be in control. We don’t always see that God is good when bad things happen to us. However, accepting these things will align us to the will of God, which is for our good. God doesn’t always make sense, so we seek His will. God is always in control, so we surrender to His will. God is good, all the time, so we treasure His will.
-Smart
The passage that was assigned to me was all of Genesis 25, but today we are just going to look at verses 19-34. To quickly summarize what happens earlier in the chapter, Abraham dies, and is buried with his wife Sarah. Ishmael’s descendants are listed, and Genesis mentions that they lived in hostility towards the tribes related to them. Here we see that God’s words to Hagar in chapter 16 are coming true. Ishmael’s family is starting to live in hostility towards those around them. In any case, this is not the focus of the message. Instead, we are going to talk about the birth of Isaac’s sons, Jacob and Esau. I have three points that I want to talk about in regards to the passage: God doesn’t always make sense, God is always in control, and God is good, all the time.
The first point is that God doesn’t always make sense. Why am I talking about this? If we read the passage, we see that Isaac has a similar dilemma to his father Abraham. Let’s read verse 21. “Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant”. If you recall to earlier in Genesis, Abraham and Sarah didn’t have a child for a very long time. Back in their times, not having a child was a pretty big deal. Abraham and Sarah took matters into their own hands, and Abraham had a son with his slave Hagar. This son is Ishmael, who lived in hostility with his brothers. Now, Isaac and Rebekah are having the same issue of childlessness. However, we see that Isaac and Rebekah don’t take things into their own hands. They pray to the Lord for a child, without trying anything by their own efforts. You would think that since they were faithful to prayer, God would quickly and directly answer their prayer for a child. However, some interesting things happen. Firstly, it takes twenty years for Rebekah to give birth a child. Secondly, they don’t just have one child, they have twins. When Rebekah is pregnant, verse 22 tells us that “the babies jostled each other within her, and she said, ‘why is this happening to me?’”. God answers this in verse 23. Let’s read that together. “The Lord said to her, ‘two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger’”. Now, I know that we are all accustomed to the story of Jacob and Esau, so we kind of forget how weird their story really is.
Here in America we have a culture in which age is not a huge deal. The only time age really matters is in terms of the law, such as driving or drinking. However, age is not super important in our social interactions with others. In other countries, such as Korea (although I hear it’s not so much these days), age is very important. Perhaps you guys know the terms “hyeong” and “dongsaeng”. If you don’t know, “hyeong” means “older brother”, and “dongsaeng” means “younger brother”. Actually I remember a time when I was playing flag football with some FKPC guys, and they would call Lam “Lam Hyeong”, which sounded a lot like “lamyeong” (ramen). I was so confused as to why people kept shouting “lamyeong” until I realized they were simply calling Lam with the respectful title “hyeong”. Anyways, the point is that in Korea and some other countries, age is very important. Younger people should respect older people, especially when it comes to family. The same principle was true in Isaac and Rebekah’s time. When God tells Rebekah that the older will serve the younger, this probably made no sense to Rebekah. The idea of the older son serving the younger son is ridiculous. Why didn’t God just give Isaac and Rebekah a single son? Why all this drama of having two children? Why not just have the older son be the inheritor of God’s promise to Abraham? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do know that Rebekah sought to know God’s will. Even when things in her life didn’t quite make sense, she inquired of God. Even when God’s answer didn’t make sense to her, there is evidence later in her life that she still wanted to do God’s will. Deuteronomy 4:29 says “if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul”. So when God doesn’t make sense, we should still seek after Him and His will.
With Christmas being just two days ago, I’ve been thinking a lot about the birth of Jesus. An immediate question I had is “why did Jesus come as a baby”? This question actually has a lot of theological implications, so I won’t try to answer it. Do you know who was probably the most confused about this? I think the Jewish people probably were the most confused about the humanity of Jesus. When they thought about their coming Messiah that was promised to them, I can guarantee you that they were not thinking about a baby. What is a baby going to do for you? A baby can’t even take care of itself! The Jewish leaders and teachers of the law were not ready to accept Jesus as a baby, which is why I believe the angel appeared to the shepherds. For one thing, no one was awake except for the shepherds. Isn’t it strange that the Son of God was born, and no one was even awake except for some shepherds? The teachers of the law and the Pharisees were so caught up in the idea of the Messiah being a powerful king that they couldn’t even accept that Jesus would come as a baby. Literally anyone could have come and approached Jesus when He was a baby, but the idea of the Messiah as a baby made no sense to them. They failed to seek God, and as a result, they missed out on who Jesus was. God doesn’t always make sense to us, but we should seek Him and His will.
So we’ve covered that God doesn’t always make sense, so let’s move to point two: God is always in control. Thinking again about Jesus’ birth, Luke 2 tells us that Caesar Augustus was the leader of Rome at the time. He issued a decree for a census, which required each person to return to their hometown to register. This meant that Joseph and Mary had to travel to Bethlehem. This journey probably sucked, since Mary was pretty far along in her pregnancy. When I was studying this passage with my fellowship, Fredrick said something very interesting. It seems like Caesar Augustus in the one in control. He gets everyone to do whatever he wants, even if it means traveling far in order to register for a census. There were no exceptions to his rule, not even a pregnant woman. The funny thing is that this was probably the kind of king that the Jewish people wanted. They wanted a strong king who would take over the Roman Empire through displays of power and authority. In other words, they wanted a king who would take complete control over the world. What they didn’t realize is that they had a God who was in control. When Caesar Augustus forces Mary and Joseph to travel to Bethlehem, he is actually fulfilling God’s plan. Matthew 6 tells us that the Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem is the fulfillment of God’s prophecy in Micah. It seemed like Caesar Augustus was in control, but in fact, God was always the one orchestrating everything in accordance to His will. God is always in control.
So what does this have to do with our passage? When Jacob and Esau are born, Jacob comes out grasping Esau’s heel. The name Jacob was given to him because Jacob means “he grasps the heel”, which is an expression for “he deceives”. We learn that Esau likes to go out and hunt, where Jacob likes to stay home. One day, Jacob is at home, as always, cooking some stew. Esau comes home and asks, or more like commands, Jacob to give him some stew. Jacob, being a deceiver, realizes that this is his chance to take something from Esau. Jacob tells Esau to give him the birthright in exchange for some stew. Immediately we can ask, “what is a birthright”? A birthright is a right of possession or privilege that someone is given from birth, especially as an eldest child. This could be in the form of a greater portion of the father’s inheritance and a higher position in the family line. Now, what do you think is more valuable, some stew or a birthright? Clearly the birthright is of much greater value than some stew, but Esau is so hungry he still makes the trade with Jacob. Jacob ends up with the birthright, thanks to his deceptive manipulation of his brother.
In this part of the story, it seems like Jacob is in control. He finds a weakness in Esau and exploits it in order to take the birthright. Jacob is possibly even pleased with himself that he was able to take the birthright from his brother Esau, because it meant that Jacob now would get a greater inheritance and is now higher in position than Esau is in the family line. However, what Jacob probably doesn’t know is that he was fulfilling God’s plan. Remember that God told Rebekah that the younger son would rule over the older. In only a couple verses, we see that God is already fulfilling what He told to Rebekah. Jacob is now the owner of the birthright, and is in a higher position than Esau. Jacob probably thought that he was in control, but in fact, God was in control the whole time. God can use anything in order to fulfill his sovereign plan. Proverbs 16:9 says “in their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps”. God used Jacob’s deception of Esau in order to put Jacob in position to receive the promise of Abraham. What Jacob lacked is trust in God, because he put too much trust in himself. The time in Jacob’s life where he finally found peace is when he wrestled with God. I don’t want to spend too much time on this, since you will have another message on it, but let’s think about why God wrestles with Jacob. What is the point of wrestling? By the way, welcome back Caleb. What is the point of wrestling? It’s to gain control of the other person. Think about it. You’re fighting and grappling to be the person in control. God approaches Jacob in a wrestling match because He wants Jacob to understand who he is. Jacob always tried to take control of his life, usually by deceiving people to get what he wanted. God wrestles Jacob because He wants Jacob to stop trying to control his own life. God touches Jacob’s hip and dislocates his hip, basically showing Jacob that God is the one really in control. God wants Jacob to surrender to His will, and stop trying to control his own life. We can always try to control our life, but God will always be in control. Why not just let go and let Him have control of our lives?
How many of you have been to Grace Retreat? In Grace Retreat, I noticed that the people are much more expressive in worship than our church is. It’s funny because there a lot of different kinds of ways people express worship. The most common way that I see is people raising their hands during praise. In fact, I have a chart here that outlines some of the different hand raises. The most common one is the “touchdown” pose, where both hands are raised as if a referee were signaling a touchdown. I am ninety-nine percent sure that I know where this came from. Where else do people do this pose, outside of sports? It’s when someone points a gun at someone else. The reason people place their hands up is to signal that they surrender to the gunman. In a bad case, this could mean someone surrendering their money to a criminal. In a good case, this could mean a criminal surrendering to the police. In either case, a hand raised motion is a signal of surrender. I believe this is why the worship pose is so similar, because it is a way of telling God that we surrender to Him. Jacob finally gave up control to God when he surrendered to God’s will. God doesn’t always make sense, so we seek His will; God is always in control, so we surrender to His will.
Lastly, let’s talk about the last point, God is good, all the time. As you probably guessed, I stole this expression from our church. We like to say “God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good”. Why? Well, because it’s true, even when we don’t know it. When I was younger, Matthew and I would sometimes do really stupid things. For example, we would go downstairs and play with footballs, soccer balls, or anything that you probably shouldn’t play with inside. Whenever we did something really bad, like knock something over or scratch the wall, my dad would get very upset. Often, he would “discipline” us. At the time, I hated it, and I’m sure Matthew did too. However, what we didn’t realize is that my dad was doing this for our good. I can say this because I knew that my dad loves me. One time, my mom had set a ladder outside in the backyard, and sternly told me not to play with it. Of course, no child could resist an invitation like that, so I went out and I climbed the ladder. I fell, and bashed my head against the ladder. What do you think my mom and dad did? Did they spank me right then and there? No! They rushed outside and came to my aid. They placed ice on my head, because at this point I had a bump the size of a baseball. My parents made sure that I was okay, and then they spanked me. All joking aside, they tried to do everything for my good.
In the same way, God does everything for our good. Matthew 7:9-11 reads “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” In other words, if we know that our parents are working for our good, how much more is God working for our good? Hebrews 12:5-6 says “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.” Even when things don’t seem to be good, God is good.
Perhaps it is off-putting to think that God is completely sovereign over everything. Even when we see the good intentions of people who love us, we see their failures. People will always betray you, so it’s hard to surrender to God because we remember how people fail us. This is why I wanted to stress that God is good, all the time. In Jacob and Esau’s case, it seems like God is cruel to allow Jacob to take the birthright. We know that God doesn’t always make sense, but why would He allow Jacob to take the birthright through deception? We know that God is always in control, so why would He choose a deceiver to be the receiver of His promise? I honestly don’t know, but I can say with confidence that God was working everything for good. Jacob goes through many trials in his life, as you will learn later, which test his character. He constantly struggled with others, and we see him deceiving others continually. However, God used the trials in his life, and even his deceptive and controlling nature to build his character to become the father of the nation of Israel. Jacob became a great man of God, and the inheritor of the promise God gave to Abraham, becoming a blessing to people all over the earth.
The sad part of the story is that Esau didn’t see the fullness of God’s goodness. When he comes home to Jacob and asks for stew, Esau gives up the birthright much too quickly. Esau should have valued the birthright higher than anything else, especially some stew. He gives up the birthright to Jacob, and thus loses the promise of God to Abraham. Not only that, verse 34 tells us that Esau despised the birthright. Perhaps this means that Esau didn’t truly understand the value of the birthright. Maybe Esau didn’t even want the birthright. Whatever the case, Jacob did see the value of the birthright, and he took it, albeit through deceptive means. Now I’m not sure what Jacob really wanted from the birthright, whether it was the inheritance or the position of authority. Whatever it was, he treasured it, even deceiving his own brother for it. This brings me to my last point, God is good all the time, so we should treasure His will.
1 John 3:1 reads “see what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him”. The most important thing I want you to remember is that God is good, and He is working for your good. We are the children of God, do you know what that means? It means that we too have a birthright, as children of our heavenly Father. 1 Peter 3-4 says “In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.” We have a spiritual inheritance waiting for us, which we should treasure. We also have the position as children of God. The will of God is that we receive these things, so we should treasure His will. We should hold onto these things which God has given to us, and not give it up like Esau did.
Of course, this all sounds nice, but in reality these things are hard to accept. It is hard to accept that God doesn’t always make sense to us. We don’t like when things happen to us that we can’t understand. It’s difficult to accept that God is always in control, because we want to be in control. We don’t always see that God is good when bad things happen to us. However, accepting these things will align us to the will of God, which is for our good. God doesn’t always make sense, so we seek His will. God is always in control, so we surrender to His will. God is good, all the time, so we treasure His will.
-Smart
2016 Key Verse Testimony
“And He was saying to them all, ‘if anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.’”
-Luke 9:23-24
Hebrews 12:1-2 reads “therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” That was my key verse for the year 2015. I chose it because I knew that there were sins in my life that I needed to address. I also chose Hebrews 12:1-2 because I wanted to focus on Jesus, who is the pioneer and perfecter of faith. This verse has encouraged me in the past year to look at Jesus, who endured the cross for me. Overcoming temptation is much easier when I remembered that Jesus overcame all temptation, and even suffered and died on the cross. While this verse has been helpful to me, I am sad to say that I didn’t really grow in my relationship with God as much as I had wanted to.
Last year went by extremely quickly. So much has happened so fast that I never really took time to appreciate what has happened in 2015. One of the things that I am grateful for is the vocal team, as we have grown together in serving the church through our music. I tend to be very demanding of people, especially when I am working together with someone on a project. The members of the vocal team were very willing to work at making the music sound good. We all pushed each other to learn our parts quickly, and to take care of the finer details that are often left untouched. Singing with the vocal team has been so much fun, and a very rewarding experience. Last year I also received an internship position at the United States Army Research Laboratory. I applied to many positions in the spring for a summer internship, but no one offered me a position. I felt that I was doomed to not have an internship, until my professor sent me and my class an email about an internship position. At the time, I had no idea what position it was, but I told him that I was a interested. By the grace of God I was able to get an interview with the people at the Army Research Lab, also known as ARL, and was offered a position as a researcher/intern. My mentor is hardworking but kind, and I learned (quite quickly I might add) that he was also a Christian. He offered to extend my internship throughout the fall semester, and now through the 2016 spring semester. I quickly accepted this extension, and I hope that I can be a blessing to those that I work with. At the end of the spring semester in 2015, I received an Honors college citation, stating that I had met all the requirements of the Honors college. The funny thing is that I didn’t realize that I had gotten this citation until my advisor mentioned it to me during my fall advising meeting. The requirements for this citation are that you take a certain number of Honors classes, and that you maintain a 3.2 GPA. I knew about the class requirements, but only discovered the GPA requirement late in the spring semester of 2015. As I looked back at my past college semesters, I noticed that my GPA was only just above a 3.2. In fact, there were a couple of semesters in which my GPA was well below a 3.2. Despite this, I managed to survive with barely a 3.2 GPA and to receive my Honors college citation. I thank God for His infinite mercy for a sinner like me. In the fall of 2015 semester, I received a new interest in learning. Often times in the past, people would ask me why I chose electrical engineering as my major in college. I always gave an answer like “it’s because I was good at physics/math in high school”, or that “I wanted to learn how computers work”. Now these are definitely true to some extent, but the honest answer to the question of why I chose electrical engineering is “I don’t know”. I honestly don’t know why I decided to chose electrical engineering as my major. Even during past semesters in college, I struggled to take interest in the material, since I was doing so much math without much application. I never reached a point where I wanted to quit electrical engineering, but I did sometimes question if this was the right major for me. Somehow, in the fall semester of last year, I took an interest in my classes. Perhaps this was in part due to the fact that at the senior level I got to choose my courses, or that I had an internship where I applied my knowledge in a practical way. Whatever the case was, I became more interested in my classes. This doesn’t mean I suddenly enjoyed every single thing that I was learning, but I did appreciate more of the material. Thanks to this renewed vigor, I got the highest GPA since my freshmen year. Praise be to God. Lastly, I must mention the good things that God has done in my church’s young adult group. As I have mentioned in the past, our previous leader left the country due to his job. He was in charge of much of the planning of the group, so we knew that he would be greatly missed. I found that a lot more responsibility of he group was placed on me and the other leaders, and at first we struggled to plan for the upcoming semesters. However, we learned to work together as the year went on, and we settled into our roles quite nicely. I took on leading praise every week, which I really enjoyed doing. I also was able to lead some praise nights, which was difficult to prepare but a joy to lead and serve. I can’t speak for everyone, but I felt that God was teaching us a lot in the past year in the young adult group. We studied the book of Ephesians in the spring, and we studied a series titled “Shadows” in the fall, both of which I have recapped on my blog. I was blessed to learn about the love of Jesus, and the person of Jesus through these semesters. I thank God for the great leaders He has placed with me to work for His glory.
Of course, I cannot talk about my year without talking about praise. I have been serving on a praise team for a very long time. It has been at least 6 years that I have been serving on a praise team, whether it be on youth group or Sunday service. I have grown a lot in my musical ability, and my understanding of worship. At the same time however, I’ve grown a bit complacent in my worship to God. Inevitably when you do something for a long time, you begin to lose the importance of what that thing is. For me, that thing was serving praise. This past year, I’ve tried to maintain a heart of worship, but serving every week makes it hard for me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. There were many times where I focused too much on the music, even when the music was pretty good. I strived for perfection, when God calls us in our brokenness. Of course, as I’ve mentioned in the past, it is good to give God our best, but the whole point of Jesus coming to earth was to mend our brokenness. If we constantly strive to be perfect, we will never get there, and we will never have a need for Jesus. I’ve been trying to learn to be patient, and to accept that I can never be perfect, and the praise team can never be perfect. All we can do is to give God our best, and to let Him work in our weakness. One of my prayers for 2016 is to give my best to God, and not to stress on my imperfections or the worship team’s imperfections.
While many good things did happen last year, it was not all good. I still struggled with many things that I had struggled with for a long time, including anger and laziness. In the past, I have had some serious anger issues, something which I have mentioned time and time again. I thank God that He has given me a better temper, but in 2015 I saw my anger start to flash. Every week, our church plays soccer after Sunday service. This is supposed to be a time for fun and fellowship, but I have taken it a bit too seriously at times. I am naturally a competitive person, which started to show a lot during soccer. When things happened in soccer that I didn’t like, sometimes I would become angry at others. This happened a couple times last year, which I am not proud of. Thankfully, this has only happened during soccer, and not during a time where I could seriously hurt someone. As I look back on these times, I realize that my anger is a result of a deeper issue- my constant need for perfection, which also showed itself during praise. I demand so much of other people, even though I know that we all fall short in some way or another, myself included. I want to rest in Jesus’ fullness and perfection in 2016, and to stop demanding perfection of myself and others. I will be graduating from college in May of 2016, so I have to look for a job. My laziness is not helping me in my job search, since I should have started already in 2015. I also struggled to maintain personal devotion with God on a daily basis, only reading the Bible on an irregular basis, without giving it much effort. I know this is not the life God wants for me, which is why I decided to choose Luke 9:23-24 as my key verse for 2016. It reads, “And He was saying to them all, ‘if anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.’” This verse is repeated in both Matthew and Mark’s gospel, but I decided to chose Luke’s version because he includes the phrase “take up your cross daily”. Denying myself, taking up my cross daily, and following Jesus are not easy. I know this. However, this is Jesus’ will for my life, and I know that He only wants what is best for me. To know Jesus better and to become more like Him, I must deny the desires of my flesh. My sinful nature desires many things, but I must deny these things in order to come after Jesus. I can’t succumb to my laziness and unwillingness to read the Word daily. To take up my cross means to chose suffering over my own comfort. When Jesus took up His cross, He chose to suffer rather than to be comfortable. A life with Jesus will inevitably have suffering, but Jesus has already led the way through His cross. Luke’s gospel reminds me that I have to take up my cross daily, meaning I have to choose the cross before myself everyday. To follow Jesus requires that I leave everything else behind. I can choose to follow the world or to follow Jesus, but not both. Verse 24 is both a warning and an encouragement. It is a warning in the sense that we should not try to save our own life, by preserving what little we have on this earth. Compared to the riches that are in heaven, what we have on earth is so insignificant. Verse 24 is an encouragement because it promises that if we lose our life for Jesus and His gospel, we will truly be saved. I have many things that I want to preserve on this earth. I want to secure a good job after I graduate. I want to get good grades in school. I want to fit in with the world, so I am not ridiculed or mocked. However, Jesus is telling me that the gospel is greater than all these things, and I should freely lose them for the sake of Christ. My runner-up key verse for 2016 and honorable mention was chosen through the casting of lots, and reads “be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Letting go of the things of this world and losing them sounds a bit worrisome to me at times, but I know that living as a disciple of Jesus will bring me true peace. Nothing I do can ever compare to being a disciple of Jesus, even though I will have to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Jesus. I know that I do not have to worry, because if I am true to Jesus, He will be true to me. I pray that in 2016 I can become a true disciple of Jesus.
-Luke 9:23-24
Hebrews 12:1-2 reads “therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” That was my key verse for the year 2015. I chose it because I knew that there were sins in my life that I needed to address. I also chose Hebrews 12:1-2 because I wanted to focus on Jesus, who is the pioneer and perfecter of faith. This verse has encouraged me in the past year to look at Jesus, who endured the cross for me. Overcoming temptation is much easier when I remembered that Jesus overcame all temptation, and even suffered and died on the cross. While this verse has been helpful to me, I am sad to say that I didn’t really grow in my relationship with God as much as I had wanted to.
Last year went by extremely quickly. So much has happened so fast that I never really took time to appreciate what has happened in 2015. One of the things that I am grateful for is the vocal team, as we have grown together in serving the church through our music. I tend to be very demanding of people, especially when I am working together with someone on a project. The members of the vocal team were very willing to work at making the music sound good. We all pushed each other to learn our parts quickly, and to take care of the finer details that are often left untouched. Singing with the vocal team has been so much fun, and a very rewarding experience. Last year I also received an internship position at the United States Army Research Laboratory. I applied to many positions in the spring for a summer internship, but no one offered me a position. I felt that I was doomed to not have an internship, until my professor sent me and my class an email about an internship position. At the time, I had no idea what position it was, but I told him that I was a interested. By the grace of God I was able to get an interview with the people at the Army Research Lab, also known as ARL, and was offered a position as a researcher/intern. My mentor is hardworking but kind, and I learned (quite quickly I might add) that he was also a Christian. He offered to extend my internship throughout the fall semester, and now through the 2016 spring semester. I quickly accepted this extension, and I hope that I can be a blessing to those that I work with. At the end of the spring semester in 2015, I received an Honors college citation, stating that I had met all the requirements of the Honors college. The funny thing is that I didn’t realize that I had gotten this citation until my advisor mentioned it to me during my fall advising meeting. The requirements for this citation are that you take a certain number of Honors classes, and that you maintain a 3.2 GPA. I knew about the class requirements, but only discovered the GPA requirement late in the spring semester of 2015. As I looked back at my past college semesters, I noticed that my GPA was only just above a 3.2. In fact, there were a couple of semesters in which my GPA was well below a 3.2. Despite this, I managed to survive with barely a 3.2 GPA and to receive my Honors college citation. I thank God for His infinite mercy for a sinner like me. In the fall of 2015 semester, I received a new interest in learning. Often times in the past, people would ask me why I chose electrical engineering as my major in college. I always gave an answer like “it’s because I was good at physics/math in high school”, or that “I wanted to learn how computers work”. Now these are definitely true to some extent, but the honest answer to the question of why I chose electrical engineering is “I don’t know”. I honestly don’t know why I decided to chose electrical engineering as my major. Even during past semesters in college, I struggled to take interest in the material, since I was doing so much math without much application. I never reached a point where I wanted to quit electrical engineering, but I did sometimes question if this was the right major for me. Somehow, in the fall semester of last year, I took an interest in my classes. Perhaps this was in part due to the fact that at the senior level I got to choose my courses, or that I had an internship where I applied my knowledge in a practical way. Whatever the case was, I became more interested in my classes. This doesn’t mean I suddenly enjoyed every single thing that I was learning, but I did appreciate more of the material. Thanks to this renewed vigor, I got the highest GPA since my freshmen year. Praise be to God. Lastly, I must mention the good things that God has done in my church’s young adult group. As I have mentioned in the past, our previous leader left the country due to his job. He was in charge of much of the planning of the group, so we knew that he would be greatly missed. I found that a lot more responsibility of he group was placed on me and the other leaders, and at first we struggled to plan for the upcoming semesters. However, we learned to work together as the year went on, and we settled into our roles quite nicely. I took on leading praise every week, which I really enjoyed doing. I also was able to lead some praise nights, which was difficult to prepare but a joy to lead and serve. I can’t speak for everyone, but I felt that God was teaching us a lot in the past year in the young adult group. We studied the book of Ephesians in the spring, and we studied a series titled “Shadows” in the fall, both of which I have recapped on my blog. I was blessed to learn about the love of Jesus, and the person of Jesus through these semesters. I thank God for the great leaders He has placed with me to work for His glory.
Of course, I cannot talk about my year without talking about praise. I have been serving on a praise team for a very long time. It has been at least 6 years that I have been serving on a praise team, whether it be on youth group or Sunday service. I have grown a lot in my musical ability, and my understanding of worship. At the same time however, I’ve grown a bit complacent in my worship to God. Inevitably when you do something for a long time, you begin to lose the importance of what that thing is. For me, that thing was serving praise. This past year, I’ve tried to maintain a heart of worship, but serving every week makes it hard for me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. There were many times where I focused too much on the music, even when the music was pretty good. I strived for perfection, when God calls us in our brokenness. Of course, as I’ve mentioned in the past, it is good to give God our best, but the whole point of Jesus coming to earth was to mend our brokenness. If we constantly strive to be perfect, we will never get there, and we will never have a need for Jesus. I’ve been trying to learn to be patient, and to accept that I can never be perfect, and the praise team can never be perfect. All we can do is to give God our best, and to let Him work in our weakness. One of my prayers for 2016 is to give my best to God, and not to stress on my imperfections or the worship team’s imperfections.
While many good things did happen last year, it was not all good. I still struggled with many things that I had struggled with for a long time, including anger and laziness. In the past, I have had some serious anger issues, something which I have mentioned time and time again. I thank God that He has given me a better temper, but in 2015 I saw my anger start to flash. Every week, our church plays soccer after Sunday service. This is supposed to be a time for fun and fellowship, but I have taken it a bit too seriously at times. I am naturally a competitive person, which started to show a lot during soccer. When things happened in soccer that I didn’t like, sometimes I would become angry at others. This happened a couple times last year, which I am not proud of. Thankfully, this has only happened during soccer, and not during a time where I could seriously hurt someone. As I look back on these times, I realize that my anger is a result of a deeper issue- my constant need for perfection, which also showed itself during praise. I demand so much of other people, even though I know that we all fall short in some way or another, myself included. I want to rest in Jesus’ fullness and perfection in 2016, and to stop demanding perfection of myself and others. I will be graduating from college in May of 2016, so I have to look for a job. My laziness is not helping me in my job search, since I should have started already in 2015. I also struggled to maintain personal devotion with God on a daily basis, only reading the Bible on an irregular basis, without giving it much effort. I know this is not the life God wants for me, which is why I decided to choose Luke 9:23-24 as my key verse for 2016. It reads, “And He was saying to them all, ‘if anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.’” This verse is repeated in both Matthew and Mark’s gospel, but I decided to chose Luke’s version because he includes the phrase “take up your cross daily”. Denying myself, taking up my cross daily, and following Jesus are not easy. I know this. However, this is Jesus’ will for my life, and I know that He only wants what is best for me. To know Jesus better and to become more like Him, I must deny the desires of my flesh. My sinful nature desires many things, but I must deny these things in order to come after Jesus. I can’t succumb to my laziness and unwillingness to read the Word daily. To take up my cross means to chose suffering over my own comfort. When Jesus took up His cross, He chose to suffer rather than to be comfortable. A life with Jesus will inevitably have suffering, but Jesus has already led the way through His cross. Luke’s gospel reminds me that I have to take up my cross daily, meaning I have to choose the cross before myself everyday. To follow Jesus requires that I leave everything else behind. I can choose to follow the world or to follow Jesus, but not both. Verse 24 is both a warning and an encouragement. It is a warning in the sense that we should not try to save our own life, by preserving what little we have on this earth. Compared to the riches that are in heaven, what we have on earth is so insignificant. Verse 24 is an encouragement because it promises that if we lose our life for Jesus and His gospel, we will truly be saved. I have many things that I want to preserve on this earth. I want to secure a good job after I graduate. I want to get good grades in school. I want to fit in with the world, so I am not ridiculed or mocked. However, Jesus is telling me that the gospel is greater than all these things, and I should freely lose them for the sake of Christ. My runner-up key verse for 2016 and honorable mention was chosen through the casting of lots, and reads “be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Letting go of the things of this world and losing them sounds a bit worrisome to me at times, but I know that living as a disciple of Jesus will bring me true peace. Nothing I do can ever compare to being a disciple of Jesus, even though I will have to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Jesus. I know that I do not have to worry, because if I am true to Jesus, He will be true to me. I pray that in 2016 I can become a true disciple of Jesus.
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