-Mark 12:30-31
Now that the year is just about half over, I wanted to take some time to reflect on the year so far. My key verse for 2018 is Mark 12:30-31. These are familiar verses, which can tend to make me overlook the significance of these verses. I chose these verses because I wanted to refocus my mind and heart on loving God and loving others.
I started the year by choosing a Bible reading plan that would take me through the entire Bible by the end of the year. I had a lot of energy and passion for this Bible reading plan because I had just come back from a retreat and felt encouraged to pursue God more seriously. As far as I can remember, I don’t believe I’ve ever been very consistent in following a Bible reading plan. I’ve always fallen in and out of the habit of reading God’s Word. I always knew the importance of reading the Bible, but struggled to maintain a consistent daily reading of the Word.
After almost half the year, I’m happy to say that I’ve been diligent in my Bible reading plan. I’ve followed the plan almost every day, and the days that I did miss, I was quick to catch up on the reading. I’ve read books of the Bible that I’ve never read before previously, which has been a great learning experience. I’ve also read books of the Bible that I’ve read many times before, but I’ve still been encouraged by it.
Unfortunately, although my reading habits have been quite good, I still struggled with spending quality time with God in prayer. As I prepared to write this reflection, I realized that a big reason that I struggle with prayer is that I don’t find myself enjoying it. It’s almost crazy when I think about the fact that I somehow don’t enjoy spending time with the creator God, who loves me unconditionally. He even gave up Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for my sins. How can I not enjoy spending time in prayer with a God like this?
There are many things that I enjoy doing, but there is one thing I enjoy doing more than almost anything else- playing basketball. I can’t really explain why I like playing basketball so much- all I can say is that I really enjoy it. I look forward to the days where I can play, and when I do play, I never want to stop. Some of the most dangerous words you can say to me while playing basketball are “one more game?”
Despite my love for basketball, basketball will never love me back. I can devote my life to playing basketball, but basketball will never love me. This sounds like a weird statement, but it illustrates a truth I’ve been learning recently. People do not only desire to be loved, they desire to love. I believe this is why people have pets. Of course they enjoy being loved by their dog or cat, but I think they enjoy showing love even more so. I believe that all people enjoy the act of loving something or someone.
I believe this desire to love has been placed in us by our God. A question that I’ve had for a long time is why it’s so important in Christian doctrine that our God is a triune God. Why does God have to be three in one? Why not just one? Ravi Zacharias, an apologist that I listen to on occasion, mentioned that one reason it is important that there is a Trinity is because it explains where love began. Love always requires an object to be loved. It is like a phone call- you cannot call nothing, you must have someone to call.
This brings the question of who God loved before the world was created. If God is love, surely He must have loved for all eternity. Before God created man and woman, love existed between the members of the Trinity. The Father loved the Son, the Son loved the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit loved the Father. There was perfect love between the members of the Trinity.
When God created man, He not only created something that He could love, but something that could love Him back. However, man chose to love something other than God. He chose to love the knowledge of good and evil. When Adam sinned against God, it broke the love between man and God. The love was now one-sided, as now God loved Adam fully but Adam didn’t love God fully.
One-sided love is incomplete love. Love wasn’t meant to be this way. The Trinity had perfect love because each part loved the others. God created man to be loved and to love. Only when love is complete can man experience the fullness of joy. I believe this is why Jesus says in Mark 12:30 that the greatest commandment is to love God. God isn’t demanding that we love Him because He needs our love, His love is already perfect within the parts of the Trinity. He is commanding us to love because He wants us to experience the fullness of joy. He is a loving God, not a needy God.
As I’ve been reflecting on these thoughts, I realize that maybe I don’t enjoy God because I don’t fully love Him. When I moved to Dallas, I moved away from a large church that I participated heavily in. I was in the praise team, I led the college ministry, I sang in special songs, and did a lot of other things. These are all great things to participate in, but I’m starting to realize that these things may have replaced a personal relationship with God. Once I no longer could do those things by being in Dallas, I realized how shallow my prayer life was.
I heard a message at HPUMC that really convicted my heart. The pastor was speaking about using this summer as an opportunity to really spend time in God’s word and in prayer. Of course, his message had more content to it, but for the sake of brevity I won’t go into much detail. I remember thinking that I wanted to accept this challenge and really focus on my quiet time with God. I pray that through this I can learn to love God more fully.
This all sounds great, but it is still very challenging. I keep asking myself how I can really start loving God with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength. I want to experience the fullness of joy that comes from loving God, but it’s still hard to do. Despite the difficulty, I thank God that He has shown me how to love through His son. When I was completely unlovable, He laid down His life for me. He showed us the greatest act of love on the cross. And now, according to 1 John 4:19, “we love because He first loved us.”
-Smart
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